Some say that “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language. I know the ugliest string of syllables, or at least a finalist for the honor:

Nelly Furtado.

My god. Say it. Say it aloud.

First off, let’s start with Nelly. This is just a goofy name - it sounds like jelly, plus it reminds me of that spoiled little blonde bitch from Little House on the Prairie. I can deal with that, though. There are plenty of ugly names out there. The last name is what really brings it home. It’s like a jab followed by an uppercut.

Furtado. This is like 3 words rolled into one: Fur. Turd. Taco. It conjures an image of a taco covered in fur with a turd inside. Named Nelly. Congratulations.